So I had one of the three MRIs that are part of my future and boy am I glad that I chose an open one instead of the usual cannoli shaped thing that they stick Jasmine in. I was in more of a waffle iron kind of device. I did get a little panicky but who cares. I told myself to "tough up fucko this is the real deal so get over yourself and do what they tell you to do".

The results are back and they are inconclusive or as Martha put it, "it's being coy" and none of us are in any mood for timid behavior. Now that all of my innards are on display for anyone who is paid to care, a hernia has been discovered on the right side of my stomach. This is unrelated to anything other then the occasional stabbing pain I get in my side. My pelvis is up next. Rock & Roll, Hoochie Koo.

Speaking of pussy, a new John Waters movie could be just the thing to make it all much, much better. The Voice has been running ads for A Dirty Shame all over the site and not only does it make us look like porno central (some would say we already are) but all that hot pink graphics and huge tits makes me smile. It is the little things, people.

"I guess there's just two kinds of people, Ms. Sandstone; my kind of people and assholes. It's rather obvious which category you fit into. Have a nice day." - Connie Marble from 'Pink Flamingos'

This is freaky. It is right across the street from where I work and it does not exist yet. What is there is a building that Cooper Union is already using and is going to knock down to build this. Across the street, something else is going on, another apartment building probably, and then of course there is the curvy weird thing at Astor Place. All this new construction in kind of nutty to have to work around. The Voice is located basically on NYU's campus because the east village has BECOME NYU's campus and in the fall, it sucks. NYU is on some wicked land grab plan and is ripping the shit out of the area but the New York Times doesn't really mention that.

This site scares me to no end but not for the reasons projected. My old boss showed it to me a few years ago and honestly after the initial "oh my god" shock value wore off I forgot about it. That is until I was standing in the subway and I noticed a billboard asking me if I was "ready". Warning me, but in that fatherly way, to be prepared. I wrote the site address down in my weirdo little black book and when I got to work - well there it was. High anxiety wrapped around the American flag. Looks like Good old boy Gov. Ridge has quite a full-time staff of paranoid prep folks because this site has grown, which is what happens when you let fear run amuck. Yep, yep, yep force-fed fear like veal. Be informed about what MIGHT HAPPEN! I particularly like the Make a Plan in a High-Rise graphics. I think I'm going to make stickers.